United Airlines rapes wallets;

Okay, so before I do the major San Francisco updategasm, I just want to take a few moments to make sure no one I know ever flies United Airlines. Like, ever.

So it was never my choice to fly United Airlines returning from San Francisco. Well, I could have paid the extra 100GBP and flown 6 minutes later with Air Canada, but 100GBP for a 6 minute difference is a bit much (or so I thought). United seemed pretty good from what people said, and hey, they're a major US carrier right? How bad can they be?

Pretty crappy, is how bad they can be. I'll put this in bold to emphasise just how shitty United were - they are the most arrogant, hostile, money-grabbing, piss-poor excuse for an airline I've ever seen. I didn't meet a single member of staff, ground or otherwise, who wasn't rude, sarcastic, miserable, argumentative, bitchy... the list goes on.

Where do I start?

Check-in - apparently, being a British person flying between America and Canada puts these guys out majorly, from check-in to getting on board. Despite it being their policy, the check-in guy looked like I'd asked him to lick my arse when I presented him with my British passport and check-in confirmation so he could give me my boarding pass and check my luggage. He spoke to me once despite me asking questions about my baggage, and that was just to give me back my passport.

Gate staff - looked as if I'd presented them with shit on a newspaper instead of my passport. They closed it despite me opening it at the photo page and then struggled to find it again - "Wait, is this a BRITISH passport?!" (no, dickhead, it's a forgery) and eventually processed it so I could board, 10 minutes later. After holding the queue up.

Cabin crew - Asking for a drink without ice (when they ask you whether you want it like that by the way) is an act of war with these guys. Confronting them about the sheer embarassment you face when two male queens of flight attendants roll their eyes at you results in tittering from the back of the plane when you get up to leave (reason unknown considering I just replied "no thanks, no ice" when prompted). This was from the same crew member who scolded the entire plane for the way their overhead luggage was placed (I'm not kidding).

Ground agents- don't give a toss if your carousel number hasn't been announced, I think they enjoy watching people play Baggage Scavenger Hunt at half 10 at night. This is definitely a spectator sport, because none of the passengers enjoyed it.

If anyone from United happens to see this - and I hope you do - sort out your damn airline. I'll have no problems paying the extra to fly with Air Canada, American, Delta, Virgin or JetBlue when (and there will be another time) I travel around in America. I know I'm a minor traveller but these are the same staff who are serving the First Class and Business cabins. If you want to lose some frequent, really valuable customers, don't do anything, because I know you lost a few last night from the people I spoke to. But if you want to do something about it, emphasise some damn customer service and make yourselves stand out. Maybe then you'll start making some money.

Downtown Vancouver (Pt 1)

I've said a lot about what's outside Vancouver itself, but not a lot of what's in Vancouver to see and do.
First off, Vancouver's HUGE. Like, really huge. When you consider Richmond, Burnaby, North Van, Granville and Metrotown, the more outlying areas which bring a lot to Vancouver, you're looking at a city the size of Manchester or similar.
Downtown Vancouver, though, is where the majority of the things to see and do are (duh). It's got the main shops, restaurants, bars, clubs, cinemas, coffee shops... everything. It's also got the harbour, waterfront and the most amazing view of mountains and wilderness that you'll probably ever see from a major city. Downtown Vancouver's made up of a few areas - Gastown, the main tourist part; Granville and Granville Island, where there's a really good public market; the West End with Davie Village; Stanley Park, an amazingly scenic wooded park area; and Chinatown (which is pretty explanatory).

This is Gastown. It looks almost American! The steamclock is a tourist attraction in itself, I've got a video of it doing its thing. It's like a normal clock but steam instead of chimes (it's more fun than it sounds...).

Downtown Vancouver (Pt 2)

Granville Island and the market is amazing. In the same corridor you can get live crabs and watch toffee being made, or watch First Nations/aboriginie art being produced. It's not even expensive, either. The island itself is full of shops and restaurants with gorgeous views of the city. The bridge in the third picture is Granville Street Bridge, one of the main roads into Downtown Vancouver.

Downtown Vancouver (Pt 3)

The Harbour! My favourite bit. This is really active with lots of cruisers, cargo boats and floatplanes going in and out all the time. And there's Stanley Park. The big ringer for the Golden Gate Bridge is the Lion's Gate Bridge (I'll have photos of it's sibling in a fortnight). Bears and cougars live in the woods here and I've been warned off trying to find them. Disappointed :(

Downtown Vancouver (Pt 4)

Chinatown. The first couple of blocks are spectacular - the gate is gorgeous, the buildings have a lot of character and there are hidden little gems like the Chinese garden with the koi carp (you'd think you'd disappeared into Asia until you hear the SkyTrain in the distance). The rest of it? Don't walk any further in if you value your wallet. But the rest is nice!

Victoria, 11th June. (Pt 1)

When you talk about Vancouver, it can get a little confusing. There's the big city, called Vancouver obviously), and all the little edge cities like Burnaby, Richmond, Surrey, New Westminster etc., which most non-Canadians consider to be 'all there is'. But actually, there's a whole island which belongs to Vancouver too - unsurprisingly called Vancouver Island. It's actually got the provincial capital of British Columbia on it - Victoria, situated to the South of the island on the coast. It's quite a long way to go to get to it - the ferry itself is like 2 hours long (longer than the English Channel ferry but half as boring - and half as expensive) and the drive either end is about the same amount of time. But when you get there, it's more than worth it.

So our day started in the little coastal port of Tsawassen with a ferry - a BC Ferry, which smelt like new paint and disinfectant. I don't know why, but here's a funnel shot...

I actually fell asleep just after we left the dock and was woken up. "You might want to get photos of what's outside..."

The islands were beautiful. They've all got communities on them who basically live by the ferry service from mainland Vancouver.

Annnnnd 2 and a half hours later we're here! In very hot, sunny Victoria. The Empress is a 5* hotel in the capital - and the only hotel the Queen uses when she visits Vancouver. The guy in the bottom left of the image, on the bike, offers lifts around the city for like, $8, like a pedal rickshaw. Legs of steel, man.

Victoria, 11th June. (Pt 2)

The harbour is really busy, and floatplanes take off every 20 minutes or so, which is a sight. We even saw a seal! (Video to follow, I got all excited since no one else saw it)

This is the State Legislature, where the Premier of the Province governs from. (Or so Alex tells me). And I never went in it :( Oops...

Here's a Government of Canada building and a really weird tree - in Canada, there's lots of both.

This is the main street running through Victoria, with lots of pretty expensive* shops and restaurants. It's also got lots of panhandlers, like the one in the bottom left. She was cool though, she juggled and everything...

Victoria, 11th June. (Pt 3)

Time to head back, and there's some lovely other little islands, along with 'Murickans on the deck talking on cellphones and insisting their scenery is better (I'm not joking).

I can't express how much I'd actually kill for one of these houses as a summer home when I'm older...

Finally, this is an undersea mountain according to Lonely Planet, which pokes above the water. Apparently it also looks like a pregnant woman laying down on her back!

Whistler, 9th June. (Pt. 4)

On the drive back, there were some awesome views. Still mountain lakes, rapid rivers, alsorts. But there's one view I want to share and I'll let the photo do the talking. By the way - the white crinkly bits which you might think are clouds? They're snow-covered mountains. Amazing.

Whistler, 9th June. (Pt. 3)

Another view from the top.



This guy is called Inukshuck. It's a stone figure that the First Nations Peoples (aboriginies) used in time gone by to warn/inform/alert other groups of nomads to their own presence. People make them on the beaches in Vancouver too - those stones aren't cemented, by the way. They're balanced.



On the other side, over that huuuuuuge valley, is another peak, Blackcomb. There's a cable car which I *could* have gotten between them, but that valley's like, 6100ft deep and I didn't fancy that gamble at the time. D'oh!



This is the view into the valley I just came from. You can't see the village of Whistler because it's behind the main brow of the mountain. The base of the mountain is something like 200ft ASL, I'm 6300ft ASL. That's a lot of feet.

Whistler, 9th June. (Pt. 2)

This is about 2000-2500 feet up, looking to the North-East I think. The woods are basically untouched and are incredibly, awesomely beautiful.


Yes, that is snow at the top of those mountains. The air temperature up here is about 0*c; the air temperature down at the cable car station is about 20*c. I was dressed for 20*c. I was cold...


You remember that mountain from before? Oh, you do? There it is, first on the left. And I'm only about 2/3rds the way up Whistler.


So we're at the summit now... and it looks like winter. It actually started snowing, but lightly, just after I stopped taking photos. In June. How amazing is that?

Whistler, 9th June. (Pt. 1)

So on the 9th of June we went to Whistler, which is a ski resort about 2 hours North of Vancouver. It's where Canada are hosting the 2010 Winter Olympics (or they're supposed to host, judging by the amount of buildings they haven't yet built...). It's touristy but it's very nice and shiny and new and still looks all traditional despite the newness.


The carpark doesn't look so enthralling...


...But then the main street's all new! And traditional! (Have I made it Clear how it looks new and traditional?)


The view down the main street. I really don't think anywhere in Britain beats this.


This still isn't the tallest mountain in the area. Actually, the pictures later kinda put it in perspective...

Doing the tourist thing

So I've landed and I've been here four days now. Customs and Immigration were a bunch of tossers who got excited at the fact I was a student here for 34 days and couldn't suss out how I was actually able to fund the whole thing myself through working hard back in Britain.

Aside from the unwelcome border, this city and this part of the country is absolutely a m a z i n g. And I mean, mind-blowing. The scenery, the neighbourhoods, the people, the hospitality, what there is to do... everything's just fantastic.

Some random observations from the past four days over everything I've done -

• Everything's bigger. I know I should have expected that but come on, every single road is like a dual carriageway. Portion sizes are huge. Stores are massive.
• Canadians don't mind driving far, like, at all. A 45 minute drive as courtesy is completely normal. Drives only get tedious around the 6 hour mark.
• Maybe that's because the scenery is so good! This city has a backdrop of the most amazing mountains, forests and is intertwined with the clearest creeks, streams and lakes I've ever seen. The character is amazing - floatplanes land on the river regularly, people kayak and canoe between these, cruise ships and the SeaTrain.
• And you know what? Canadians don't think that's anything special. They're too used to it so I seem like a right prat when I stand there in complete awe of a plane which actually lands on water for a purpose other than ferrying tourists and rich people.
• Public transport isn't shameful or second-class. People actually leave their cars at home in preference to the SkyTrain, bus or walking. And they do it regularly. That's unheard of in Britain!

I'm exhausted from today which I'll tell you all about very soon. There'll be more random Canadian musings within the week!

An End Has A Start.

I'm writing this sipping rose at 37,000 feet over the northern territories of Canada, at the start of what I hope is a rather beautiful month. The scenery outside is amazing - we came over the Pennines, Hebrides, over to Iceland and Rekyjavik, Greenland and finally Labrador, from rugged mountains to Artic tundra and back again. (All while dossing in a leather seat watching Slumdog Millionaire - isn't air travel just wonderful?)

I read the Lonely Planet guide to British Columbia (BC) before and think I'm going to try kayaking. It's been ages since I last did it and can't think of a more beautiful place to do it again. Though, camping and canoing are close seconds... And yes, I can rough it despite my usual dependence on hair products and cleanliness.

I'll post this as soon as I land and find somewhere to do it, so I'll catch up very shortly.

Oh, and my landing and customs card assures me I can't take animals in handluggage. Who'd have thought?

Seven days.

I can't believe after 9 months it's come down to just a week until I'm finally going to Canada. It's crept up on me so fast and now I've got so much to do! The traveller's cheques and currency have arrived - apparently the currency looks like it's photoshopped it's so professional.

This week's going to be so packed with things to do. Haircut, currency pickup, Apple repair, collecting stuff people want me to take along, seeing people before I go, appointments for almost everything before the medical insurance runs out... and I've got to pack, somewhere amongst all that.

I've also got to vote for the first time. The elections are a bit scary with the BNP expecting such high support. The BNP intimidate me an awful lot - not just because I'm gay and they're against that, it's not even the main reason. The main reason is that they're organised like a bunch of thugs in suits, and it shows. They spout far worse propaganda than any other political party, I saw it first hand in Chester. They seem to expect that the economy will do what they tell it to do if they get any sort of political power, but the economy's too free for that. They intimidate me so much I unashamedly rip down their signs whenever I see them, whenever I can. There's no place in politics for people who want to restrict the rights of others unfairly. So I guess what I'm trying to say is, I won't be voting BNP...

I found out today where my godmother's planned to take me on the days we're spending together! First place is Whistler, a mountain resort between Vancouver and the Canadian Rockies. For the most part it looks like the photo at the top of the page (shamelessly ripped from Wikipedia). It's somewhere I've wanted to go ever since I read about Canada like 12 years ago, so it's going to be amazing, I just know it.

Seriously hope 6 days doesn't crawl by.

So, I'm using BlogPress for iPhone

And it works pretty well, but could be better. TwitterFon esque interface plx...

-- Post From My iPhone

40,320 minutes.

...or 672 hours, or 28 days, or 4 weeks, whichever way you want to look at it!

Either way that's how long I've got to go until I go whizzing over the world's second largest ocean for 9 hours in a pressurized metal tube to a country whose name oddly means 'Big Village'.

Seeing as I'm there for an epic 34 days, and probably won't be able to repeat the adventure any time soon, I needed something besides my own forgetful self to remember what I did. Diaries? Too dry. Video logs? I look like a dick on camera. Pictures? They don't talk! Diary on the web which I can write through my iPhone AND show pictures on? Good times.

And so it is that I'll be writing about what I get up to, my thoughts, feelings, happenings and plain ol' random shit that happens before and during the month I'm in the land of bagged milk for (and yes, I will be buying some.)

Tataaa.